About a month into lockdown I wrote a blog about how it was giving me the opportunity to spend more time with my young adult children and how I felt blessed. I felt gratitude that, in a time of such fear and uncertainty, I could be with them.
Lots of positive things have happened in my life during this pandemic: my partner has moved to be nearer to me, I am busy working in a job I enjoy, my children are now both working, there have been two new babies in my wider family, I have been able to “meet” up with many friends virtually and more recently in person (socially distanced). Most importantly, the people who really matter to me have remained healthy and well.
When Covid first appeared and then we went into lockdown, I thought – OK, we need to do this, let’s get through this and then things will all go back to normal. I think I expected to get to August and while we might have to open things up slowly, generally life would be as it was before.
And of course it’s not. And let’s face it, it won’t be. It will be a long time before life looks close to what it was like before Covid. And for the last couple of weeks, I’ve found that hard to deal with.
I try to take a positive outlook on life; I try to practice gratitude for the many blessings I have in my life. So the fact that I’ve been feeling quite down, despite all this, has been really difficult for me to deal with.
I thought – what would I say to a client who came to me and said that they were finding it hard and were also feeling guilty about that when they have so much to be grateful for? That it feels self- indulgent to feel sorry for myself when I am one of the lucky ones?
I would say – it’s OK to not feel OK. It’s OK to feel what you are feeling. Your feelings are valid. Exercise some self-care and go easy on yourself.
We can’t be positive all the time and it’s normal to find things overwhelming at times. So I’m not beating myself up about it.
I was reminded of this quote: “This too shall pass.”
Photo: my own
11 August 2020